The story of 2015 so far has been a challenging one, think this has been my most challenging year to date, not a year of terrible things happening but of going inwards and really finding out things about myself I had to address. (Does this happen to anybody else when they turn 30?....nope, just me then!!) I have needed to let go, or at least try to learn to. I am currently learning to open my heart more and, with this current challenge, write from my heart, and to not hide in my shell so much (Yes, my star sign is Cancer).
This year an array of emotions have washed over me on a daily basis and these emotions have been chaotic, difficult to settle and ease. They have consisted of anger initially, anger from within then into despair and panic at having been so angry. I have experienced this emotion, if only briefly, but not to this extent and for an extended period of time. I have felt disheartened and dismayed at the prospect of a potentially good year very quickly going downhill but then realising it may just be the start of some life changes that are needed.
I started the year with great intentions, a list of New Year’s resolutions and high hopes to make this a busy and exciting year. This very quickly diminished with worries about health in my family, upset with two of my closest friends.... losing one and pushing the other one away, my Son not settling at school, starting a new job and feeling very isolated and alone.
I thank all the moons of this year, what have we had?....a couple of new moons, a new moon in Scorpio, a blood moon and an eclipse and we are now in a Mercury retrograde.(cough cough, just read an article about playing victim to the retrograde...Its my excuse and I'm keeping it!!) I believe I am a moon child, this universe is having an impact on me this year and I think I have felt it more from connecting inwardly through yoga, meditation and all the reading I do, thank you elephant journal!!
This, somewhat, leaves me with a positive spin on it because my mantra thus far has been “This too shall pass”, this mercury retrograde is still in flow and continuing through to the 11th June and in that time I know for me it is important to open my heart to new and exciting things, of connecting on a spiritual level and knowing that yes...this too shall pass.....while I dread the thought of another retrograde later in the year. I am, realistically, both positive and pessimistic at the same time...oh how I long to be the optimist.
2015 may just be the jump start I need to find my passions, or purpose and to seek those things more inwardly and connecting more.