I feel quite proud that I have actually made it to the halfway mark of this challenge set by Kale & Cigarettes, it is a small accomplishment for me as I am not a writer. I have never sat down everyday to write and I know that my writing is not improving in any way but I am getting things out of me, out of my system in a way and learning along the way.
Last night I was really disappointed (as usual) by the Scottish weather, dark clouds permeated over the full moon most of the evening and I was desperate to see it, after having read article after blog after list about this Strawberry full moon. It called for setting up new intentions while finishing off projects and riding the wave of the retrograde as slowly as possible while keeping in mind all the to do lists to survive it. I need to disconnect, stop reading so much and pinning so much hope on things like this, or should I be creating a more structured and focused belief system, find passion in a belief and roll with it. My chaotic mind just will not seem to allow it right now, my mind is master and my body obeys. My mind wants it all to be in place already, to have all this and all that and have it now...however, my heart and soul know otherwise.
It is time to change that, slowly and intentionally with ease and compassion for myself along the way. In one of the posts on the group today about sensitive souls, I resonated, deeply, as I am one of those sensitive souls. Maybe sensitive souls are my tribe, it is where I would belong. I must be gentle with my soul, it does not like to be rushed or bullied, it just needs a little guidance with a nudge now and again on the occasion its stubborn side cracks through to put up a fight.
At 3.42am I woke up, quite suddenly, my room was light and I just knew I had to get up and peer out the curtain. The full moon was there, directly in front of me, with fast flowing waves of clouds under it, moving and swirling, changing the dark to light and back again. I cuddled up in my duvet....You could have popped me into a bicycle basket and cycled across that full moon and I would have been mistaken for ET......and just enjoyed the quiet, the sky, the sea of dark clouds rolling in and out, up and down, the shining and glinting in my bedroom, the coolness of the night. My mind was fighting to get in there, tell me to create an elaborate and confusing intention and repeat it over and over but my heart and soul just wanted me to slow down, take it all in and in the end my intention became peace and calm. This just really created a feeling of truly being in the present moment, this was the only time I would have this moment and I should treasure and relish in it for what it was not for what it was meant to be.
I am sorry mind, but you can no longer be the master in this game of life, I have to listen to my heart and soul and instead of trying to bully them into the perfect plan, its time to listen to them and slow down to their pace. Mind, the hare, you cannot win when you are in a rush all the time. Soul, the tortoise, thank you for the pace of slow and steady, its just what I need for this race.
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