(Southerness beach, South West Scotland)
The Power in Expectation
How important are beliefs and expectations in determining what happens to us in life? They may be more important than you think.
Have you ever noticed that people who expect the best in life usually seem to get it? And have you noticed that the reverse also seems to be true? Do you think it happens that way due to coincidence or luck? Or is something else going on?
One of The Pacific Institute's core principles, solidly founded on cognitive research, is that we move toward and become like what we think about. We behave not in accordance with the truth, but with the truth as we perceive and believe it to be. So it follows that when you expect the best from yourself and others, you behave in ways that almost guarantee you are going to get it.
The same is true when you expect trouble. You set yourself up for trouble in countless little and not so little ways and sure enough, trouble shows up at your door. What do you expect for yourself? Do you expect to do the things you dream about, or do you expect obstacles, opposition and eventual disappointment?
If you consistently and lovingly give your children a better, much more positive expectation, they are far more likely to go out and make it happen. And the best part? Once it's a habit, it is repeated throughout their lives.
I receive daily emails from the pacific institute, which is a training course I took part in over the last two years. I love getting these emails, and today's.....what an excellent prompt for writing.
Beliefs and expectations are important and maybe this is my downfall, my doubts, probably just plain excuses, stop me from believing I can do something. On the hand, when I set my mind to something I achieve it, eg. I am going travelling this year again, In January I decided this and by the end of January I had organised my summer. In my mind there is no stopping me until I have achieved that goal, and I stick to it, work hard and it pays off. In comparison this is a small follow through, its the bigger things that I struggle with and the doubts kick in and overwhelms me. I trip over the first hurdle, arms flailing, bruised knees (em....ego!) and left red faced walking shamefully away with my tail between my legs...I am not sure why my determination fails me then, when I need to get back up strong, brush off my "knees" and kick over the damn hurdle and head for the finish line.
I had mentioned coincidences yesterday in my post and it has come up again, I do believe in them and know that there is something, maybe magical, in them. Coincidences are little angels just giving you a nudge from one thing to another, they shut a door but open a window of opportunity just when you need it. I questioned yesterday whether I should sit and wait my fate or do something about it, maybe sitting and waiting is not enough but keeping my eyes and ears open for future projects and not miss out on opportunities presented to me is at least doing something. I don't want to push too much, just enough to keep moving and evolving, always learning and gaining experience and knowledge. As for luck, a little of that always helps too! As for something else...I believe more and more everyday that there is the power of the universe guiding and, like the angels, nudging, giving subtle signs but, as I said, I need to be aware and observant to what the signs mean and how they can guide me to my purpose...purposes!
Expecting obstacles...thats me! I need to change my view of how high those obstacles are I guess, look at them from a different angle and maybe with a different goal, cut down the goal into more sizable chunks....baby steps, that's what they say isn't it. That surely makes the obstacles less likely to seem so daunting, less likely to bruise my "knees" on the way down so I can get back up and try again. This may help my perfectionistic, introverted, highly sensitive personality the capacity to undergo the mighty task of truly living the dreams I dream. Will that alleviate the eventual disappointment? I hope so.
"we move toward and become like what we think about.", Think more positive thoughts, I can do this, I can do this...This too shall pass...even 21 days in I am repeating when necessary.
I try very hard to provide positive expectation of the boy because as an adult I know how it feels to be trapped in negative thinking and it is a difficult vicious cycle to get out of. I can get trapped for weeks and months at a time in self doubt, depression and anxiety.
I ask him every night to tell me three good things about his day, and it not only makes it a habit for him, but it probably helps me more, more than he will ever know.
I should write down three good things about my day every night too....it will then become my habit. Positive expectation.
1. The sun was out today.
2. I drank fresh green juice, it tasted so good and it made me feel so good!
3. I have the most handsome intelligent boy.
500 words a day challenge from Kale and Cigarettes.